Silver Fox and Argyle Socks

In 1959, a group of Russian scientists began to selectively breed
silver foxes based on a single criterion, docility towards humans.
Within several generations, the temperament of the foxes switched from
being aggressive and fearful to tame and almost endearing. Oddly
enough, while selecting only for one trait, other visible traits
emerged ubiquitously among the newly docile populations: floppy ears,
curved tails, and lightly colored fur. Unexpectedly, the changes in
comportment correlated with widely shared, physical changes. One
thing I have noticed during my 9 weeks in China is the high density of
argyle sock wearing males among the Peace Corps Volunteers (PCVs). In
a non-selective sampling of American males, maybe 1 out of 30 men
might report to be regular argyle wearers (more than 3 pairs per
week), whereas among male PCVs, this proportion is closer to 1 out of
every 5. The figure is even more notable when measuring for wearers
of eccentrically patterned socks, where PCVs put up figures closer to
1 out of 3. I am not arguing for causation, i.e. wearing argyle socks
compels one to join the Peace Corps or vice-versa, I am merely taking
this chance to expose the correlation between selecting for one
characteristic, namely desire to be a PCV, and the corresponding
fashion sense. As a habitual argyle wearer myself (more than 5 pairs
per week), I am delighted to be in the company of so many like-minded
individuals with a taste for haute couture.

Me Hear no Understand!

I just got back from a 5-day visit of the city where I will be working
for the next two years, and from what I saw, it is an absolutely
fantastic place to live. The whole city is about the size of a large
university campus, and a 25-minute walk in any given direction will
lead you straight into the robust, mountainous wilderness that
surrounds the city. The university where I am teaching is tucked away
in the mountains and can only be reached by taking a 20-minute bus for
teachers and students. I wish I could say more about Kaili, but I was
inadvertently kidnapped and accidentally placed under house arrest by
my new host-family, who actually felt that they were acting out of my
best interest by not letting me leave the house between 11:30am and
3:30pm. This restriction plus a 'somewhat' more reasonable curfew of
10pm till 10am every night led to me finishing about 500 pages of my
book, studying a lot of 普通话, and firmly annihilating any sleep debt I
might have accumulated in 4 years of college. I tried to tell my host
brother that I did not share his passion for computer games (the only
activity that prevented him from doing absolutely nothing at all and
fading out of existence), but he did not understand my alien desire to
not spend all day in one room. A few other notable misunderstandings
arose over the course of the 4 days I spent with my new host-family:
The first misunderstanding was between me and myself. Apparently, I
didn't know when I was and was not hungry; rather, my host mother was
the only person privy to this information. The second was between me
and my host family. My limited ability to speak Mandarin gave them
the impression that I could speak fluently in the Guizhou dialect.
They would speak to meet at speeds which even native Chinese speakers
would have difficulty understanding and then be shocked when I would
respond, "Wo ting bu dong," (Me hear no understand). The third is
between me and watermelon. I always perceived watermelon to be one of
the most uncontroversial fruits in existence, but it has now become
one of my greatest enemies. He/she strikes only when I'm not at all
hungry, have just washed my hands, and have nowhere to spit seeds.
Also, he/she always comes in large hoards to ensure that even if the
first two slices were refreshing, the 3rd and 4th will make me finish
my dinner with a stomach ache, sticky hands, and stains on my shirt.
Lastly, I think there is some misunderstanding between some Chinese
people and themselves. I fail to understand how anyone can understand
a language perfectly and still be unable to speak it. Physical
deficiencies aside, somebody who watches TV in Mandarin, listens to
music in Mandarin, and understands the American living in their home
speaking Mandarin should be able to squeak out a few Mandarin words
from time to time to ease communication. Oddly enough, I learned that
this is not the case, and absolute, one-way language abilities can be
fully perfected if one makes a notable effort to totally avoid
speaking the understood language. All misunderstandings aside, the
story ends well, because I did succeed in breaking out of the confines
of my home long enough to hit up some Mahjong tables, swim in a nearby
river, and check out my new apartment. I am pretty psyched about next
year and can't wait to get started.

You might be in China if…

…people honk their car horns to express everything EXCEPT frustration.
…planning ahead means giving 5 minutes notice.
…being 5'7" makes you considered tall.
…having brown hair makes you considered blond.
…how much you eat is determined more by your patience for utensils
than by the size of your stomach.*
…a street-cleaning machine plays loud, ice-cream-man-style music just
outside your window every morning.
…your internet only connects to 8 different websites, none of which is
g00gle.c0m.
…you can taste the difference between cow stomach and chicken stomach.
…butter is more convenient to make than to buy.
…your car has an in-console TV screen whose only function is to play
the karaoke for every song on the radio.
…you find yourself bathing with great wall scented soap.
…every steak, fish, chicken, pork-chop, and rabbit comes "bone-in."
…half the channels on TV are some sort of singing competition
apparently aiming to uncover the most mediocre singer the world has
never heard of.
…every play kitchen for children comes standard with a plastic chicken foot.
*recently amended to "… how much you eat is determined by how much
your host-mother forces you to eat."

Kaili (Kye-lee)

The answer to the question so many people have asked me recently was
finally given to me today when I found out that I am going to spend
the next two years in Kaili, a small city just outside Guiyang, the
capital of Guizhou province. All in all, I am more than thrilled
about my placement. The 'city' has around 500,000 people, which by
Chinese standards is absolutely tiny. I will spend the next week
exploring my new home while staying with a host family, so I will have
more to say about my site then. Nevertheless, at this point, I still
have some information gathered only from word of mouth, wikipedia, and
google.cn. So far, I have been told that Kaili is a hub of minority
culture (specifically that of the Miao), boasts some of the most
beautiful topography in all of China (search for "Karst mountains"),
and has breathtakingly –more like breathGIVingly– fresh air (once
again, that's by Chinese standards). The only bummer I've encountered
thus far is learning that my month+ of Mandarin will be of little use
in a province where over 129 different dialects are spoken. I guess
that makes me feel a little less guilty for watching Harry Potter
XVIII last night instead of practicing my Mandarin.