One-Year Anniversary

           I just started my second and final year of teaching in China, and there are a lot of things going through my mind.  The main thing I noticed stepping back into a classroom was that my students were speaking English. After a year of constantly reminding them that they shouldn’t speak Chinese in class, a summer off seemed to make all the difference. I’m teaching the same classes that I taught last year, and I actually have the same groups of students as well. It’s remarkable how different a first day can be after you already know your students and they know you. Last year I felt like I was teaching in a Charlie Brown comic, mumbling, “Waah waa whaah wah,” as students stared wondering why I kept making them raising their hands. This year it was all business from the first minute with active participation and enthusiasm. I hope this keeps up.

           My relationship with China has also changed dramatically. I have weathered storms of frustration, fatigue, and absolute bewilderment. I’m very glad that I made the choice to come live and work here, but it would be difficult to say that I love it here. As I feel more and more integrated with the language, culture and people of western China, I am just as “foreign” as I was the first day I arrived. Things are different at school, where students and teachers know me, but on the street I’m perpetually a stranger to all, emphasis on STRANGE. I can’t see myself living here mainly because the other 400,000 people in my city can’t see me living here. You know how beavers will slap their tails against the water when they catch sight of an outsider approaching their dam… well I feel like I’m living in a city of beavers every time I go outside and people feel that it’s necessary to alert the other citizens of my presence. It’s nice to blend in because then you can choose to stand out. Unfortunately, when you stand out you can’t just choose to blend in. Towards the end of the school year, I became frustrated with western China as a whole, but I’ve recently directed my aggravation to the lack of education here. Even those students who go to school don’t have a “full” view of what they’ve studied, especially in liberal arts. Everything is studied as if it was times tables, and that leaves subjects, which should be colorful and expressive, as flat production-based instruction. This also stems from the whole system being test-oriented from the 6^th grade onward.

It’s been pretty much impossible to empathize with the people who have had such a remarkably different education than me. The difference is just so big, and I guess that’s also why many of them also have trouble empathizing with me. Even growing up in America has taught me things that I can’t seem to teach here: organization, efficiency, competition, racial diversity, and even economics. Not high-level economics, but just the things we take for granted living in a capitalist society. The main thing I can’t understand here is how buying in bulk is ever more expensive than buying individual sizes… yes, not the same price… MORE expensive. I’ve explained this to shop owners and they just think I’m trying to bargain, not explain an economic principle to create buyer’s incentive.

Lastly, I’ve started looking into what I might do next year. At this point film school is on the top of my list. I’ve continued drafting some screenplays since I’ve been here, and it’s made me happy to have a creative outlet for my thoughts. Writing again was like loosening your belt after a huge meal.  You didn’t realize how tight your pants were, but now you’ve never felt better. Other options for the future could involve work in either EASTERN China or Europe. For now, I’m going to do my best to teach English and make the most of my second year.