You might be in China if…

…people honk their car horns to express everything EXCEPT frustration.
…planning ahead means giving 5 minutes notice.
…being 5'7" makes you considered tall.
…having brown hair makes you considered blond.
…how much you eat is determined more by your patience for utensils
than by the size of your stomach.*
…a street-cleaning machine plays loud, ice-cream-man-style music just
outside your window every morning.
…your internet only connects to 8 different websites, none of which is
g00gle.c0m.
…you can taste the difference between cow stomach and chicken stomach.
…butter is more convenient to make than to buy.
…your car has an in-console TV screen whose only function is to play
the karaoke for every song on the radio.
…you find yourself bathing with great wall scented soap.
…every steak, fish, chicken, pork-chop, and rabbit comes "bone-in."
…half the channels on TV are some sort of singing competition
apparently aiming to uncover the most mediocre singer the world has
never heard of.
…every play kitchen for children comes standard with a plastic chicken foot.
*recently amended to "… how much you eat is determined by how much
your host-mother forces you to eat."